kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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