my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize