We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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