I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
He felt like a one man threesome
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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