Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
