He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
