hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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