I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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