I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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