Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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