hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
