smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
