Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
