i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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