SEEEEXXX PLEASE
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize