trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
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