Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
i think im in europe. pls send help
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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