Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
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