you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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