he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
