I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
