i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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