As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
