I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
