I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
