i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
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Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
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Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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