shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
