Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
