Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Randomize
