Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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