so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
