if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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