He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
