Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
