My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
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Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
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It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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