Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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