he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
