She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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