Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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