I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize
