ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
My balls are so social today.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
