Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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