i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
