He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
