i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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