When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
