I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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