ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
