i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Vodka?
Forever.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
