If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
