So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
