i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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