I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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