So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
