I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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