hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
