I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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