Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Randomize
