i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
