And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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