After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
