...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize