she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
